Signs She is Psychotic by Danneel Marlow

I know there are probably a lot of women out there who might get offended by this topic. For you ladies out there, I apologize, but even you will have to admit that there are some crazies. All I’m trying to do is help a brother out and keep him safe and available for a healthy relationship. Please ladies, I invite you to read on as well.

Waking up to a knife dripping with your own blood or missing appendages doesn’t happen too often. But obvious signs of psychosis like these don’t present themselves right away; however there are subtle hints that might save you a lot of time and maybe a few scars. Here are five tips to figuring out if your perfect date is the perfect storm:

1. Bait and Switch
If she never knows what she wants to do, but often will tell you what she does not want to do, this is a bad sign. The conversation will generally go like this:
You: What do you want to do tonight?
Her: I don’t care, whatever.
You: How about ____?
Her: No, I don’t want to do that…
(Repeat these lines over and over again)
True, this might just be indecisiveness, or it could be one of the most fiendish traps known to man! If you can’t pin her down on what she wants to do, but she’s constantly angry at what you do do, run.

2. Boyfriend Talk
If the words “I’ll never let another man do me like that again” leave her lips within the course of the first three of four dates, she’s looking for another man to do her that way again. It’s not to say that she wants someone to do her like that because she enjoys it either. Someone’s looking for some payback. Unless you want to begin your career as a punching bag now, you should avoid whatever it is the last guy (or guys) did to her. With some people (not just women) it’s not the current relationship they have trouble dealing with, it’s the last one.

3. Phone Calls
The 3am phone calls are a clear indicator of obsessive/compulsive behavior. So are phone calls more than once a day. If you want someone who is completely dependent on you every moment of the day, go for it. Otherwise she’s using the phone to control your every movement. The sure indicator is when you pick up after missing a call and the first words out of her mouth are “where were you?” I enjoy my remote control 4x4, I don’t think I’d enjoy being one.

4. No Job? No Birth Control? No Problem!
Women with no visible source of income and kids are something to be leery of. We all have our bad spots in life, there’s nothing wrong or shameful in that. However there are a small (very small) percentage of women with children who are looking for a baby daddy to pay the bills. If you are into supporting children that aren’t yours I suggest sending less than a dollar a day, the price of a cup of coffee, to a child in need in S. America. Marriage and step children are separate issues all together. A woman who thinks that you should support her and her children because you are dating is a little around the bend and just shy of being a prostitute. Again, there are plenty of single mothers out there who are strong, independent and great women. They might or might not need a hand from the guy they are dating, this is true. What I’m talking about is paying her rent and bills.
If you DO decide to get involved, wear a minimum of 5 condoms or else Fertile Myrtle will definitely be in your life and your pocket until you die.

5. I Love You
Love is a wondrous thing and can happen to anyone. Someone even loved Hitler once, it’s true. However, if she loves you after one date chances are she is off her medication. Sometimes we will have strong feelings that come with strong attraction for someone, but how sane is it to confuse these things with love?
This is usually a precursor to her showing up at your place with a shotgun and her parents saying things like “Can I keep him Paw?” or whatever doubles for that in your neck of the woods.
This sort of behavior leads to court dates and restraining orders and trust me my friend, you will not look good no matter how nice of a guy you are. Your best bet is to have the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech right away and get it over with.

Be careful out there. This goes to the ladies and the men who have read this. And ladies, I wasn’t that harsh on you as a gender, was I?


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